Analyzing a lesson

QUESTION:  Masters I’ve got myself in a mess with my marriage. 17 years and it’s over – not my choice but my wife’s – I have finally realized and learnt the lessons over the past few months that I need to be a loving respectful partner with her but she swears it’s too little too late and is making great inroads to a new life and actively seeking a new love. I realize that I hurt and this will pass but I feel such a strong non ego attraction to her that I’m confused – I also understand the concept of freedom of choice and self-love – can you please advise me if we had a soul based contract, if so is it time for me to move on or should I work on myself and try to sort this situation out, ~Neil, United Kingdom

ANSWER: You have just become aware of the situation in which you have forced your wife to exist during the period of your marriage. In the past it was all about you and what you wanted, to the exclusion of your wife’s desires. She had always sought to be in a loving, sharing relationship, but you were too unconscious of anything but your own happiness to see that she was not benefiting from your union.

Your lesson was to realize that you were being selfish, boring, and totally self-centered. You were only concerned about yourself and what your friends thought of you and didn’t care about the needs of your wife. Her lesson was to learn that she was just as important as you in every aspect of life, and that she had the freedom to choose to exchange her situation for one that respected her desires. She overcame a lack of self-worth and self-confidence issues.

The two of you had not made a contract to present the lessons to each other. Each of you just had the desire to draw to yourself a person who would give you the lessons you desired. Each of you has completed the lessons that could only come from the other. It is time to move on and, using the lessons you learned, to create a life that will give you different situations from which to become more aware of who you are and why you came to Earth.

If you want to learn more, live in the moment, being aware of all others around you and how your actions impact them. Love the fact that your awareness is becoming more acute, and let that grow into a love for yourself and for this journey you are undertaking.