Familial connection and responsibility

QUESTION: Masters, I do not understand the purpose of my mother in my and my sister’s life…no matter how much we loved her she was always so abusive, judgmental and negative. With time I have become passive and my sister aggressive. And with time instead of growing with age my mother has become more negative. Do we need to stay with her as duty or leave for our peace at least? Is accumulation of negativity a part of learning of such people? ~J.S., India

ANSWER: The three of you had many joint lessons to attempt to learn in this life. Your mother came to Earth to learn about love. She was never successful and does not understand what familial love is all about. She has always chosen negative thoughts, moods, emotions, and activities. She is more content to be morose and depressed than to be happy, and she wishes the same for others.

She also had a lot of fear in her life. She has no self-confidence and therefore feels safe only when she is in control, which resulted in the unsavory treatment she delivered to you girls.

You and your sister wanted to experience these lessons demonstrated by your mother so that you could use the information to make choices for yourself. You have both reacted differently to this experience. You have decided not to react to the actions of your mother – instead, being passive and non-confrontational. Your sister became reactive and deals out aggression in response to what she considers unfair treatment.

Your mother is not going to change her personality at this point of her life. If anything, you will find that she will become more demonstrative, negative, and argumentative because no one is objecting or calling her on her actions. You have no spiritual responsibility to stay within the negative range of her reach.

It is time for you two to see what life can be like without constant conflict. You should experiment with being responsible only for yourselves. Learn to try different responses to day-to-day interactions. Examine if you feel content with your own behavior; if not, change it at will. When you do not have to protect yourself from your mother by being passive, you may find an enjoyment in being assertive.