Unmanageable relatives
QUESTION: Masters, I try hard to live in peace with everyone. I have a lovely family, a nice job and enough for my children. However my mother in law and her daughter are mad people and although I just see them 3 times a year, they have a significant influence on my husband and indirectly in me. Why? Why do I have these people in my life and in a way I cannot handle them? It is such bad energy when I see them that it takes a few days to clean myself. How can I resolve this? Divorce? ~Raquel, Portugal
ANSWER: These people are in your life so that you might sit back, remove yourself from the dramas created by them, and decide what you want to do in light of the possibilities: in other words, it is a life lesson. When it comes to the rest of the people and family around you, things run smoothly, giving you a sense of what can be.
Part one of your lesson is accepting that you cannot have an influence on anyone who does not wish to give you that ability. Control is an illusion because each person has the freedom to choose how to behave and whom to respect. Your husband’s family does not feel you are good enough for him and, therefore, treat you like dirt. They have to decide to change this opinion; nothing you do will have an effect.
Part two is deciding how you wish to react to their insensitivity. You may let it continue to affect you as it has until now, or you can ignore it, acknowledging that it is coming from people who don’t recognize what a fantastic person you are. Letting their behavior bother you is saying that they have power over the way you think about yourself. They are ignorant, opinionated, unhappy women who seek to win back the affection of your husband from you. They are immersed in negative, hateful energy, and that is what you have to spend so much time getting rid of after a visit.
The next step is up to you. Your husband is unaware of the extent to which they try to influence your life, and also how much their thinking affects him. Have a long conversation with him explaining your situation and your desire not to have to be affected by it any longer. Based on his side of the exchange, make your next decision.