Discerning relationships
QUESTION: Masters, I became involved with my spiritual teacher of 10 years. For the first three years we were both not free to be fully with each other due to other life contracts. These 3 years of dealings were not clean dealings and distrust and resentment grew. We were together for 3 more years and the distrust, resentment and now it seems even vengeance became negatively entwined. We have ended living together. Each time I have visited my part in this negative creation I apologize. Even though we ended it, I am getting the sense that we still have more work to do together. I wish to leave this life clean with this person and do what needs to be done but do not want to continue negative, harmful dealings. How do I determine if it is actually work and not my shadow self that wishes to create more conflict and negativity? ~Monique, USA
ANSWER: Humans who are on a spiritual path to enlightenment become sensitive to the intense energy of those who have the knowledge and ability to reach out into the universe. When you began working with this teacher, he felt like a shining star with incredible positive energy because you were coming from the basic third-dimensional ego judgment where negativity is the default setting.
Teachers only show you their best, most desired attributes when you first start working with them so that you will stay around and continue with them instead of seeking out another. In a romantic relationship your partner definitely starts with what he/she thinks you want. When you are not fully invested in the partnership it is easy to hide those things which might otherwise scare you away.
Discernment is the spiritual principle of taking apart the actions and events in your life and seeing what lessons are hidden inside. The sense you are getting that there is still something you have to do with this relationship is true. You have not figured out why you have such intense feelings about this perception of distrust, betrayal, resentment, and vengeance. These are all your lessons, which you have not understood completely.
You do not need to have any more “face time” with this man. You merely need to go into the fears, doubts, and strong reactions your time together has fostered. You are too fast to always apologize and take the blame for things. You should stop and look and see if, in fact, there is anything for which you should apologize.
The driving force behind your current feelings is a sense that unfinished work remains. Start on that understanding a little at a time. Whenever you sense any of those strong emotions, ask yourself why they are present. Some of the things that happened between you and this person were there to trigger lessons from prior lives. The work now is a solo job.