Poor me
QUESTION: Masters, I’ve been through hard times. My brother died, I had a violent childhood, my little brother is a drug addict, I got money problems, no luck with love – the list goes on and on. Almost every day I hear how beautiful and talented I am, but I don’t believe. I have a special gift to write and even a publisher for my book. A book I can’t finish. I don’t trust myself, and I can’t love myself enough. My dream is to become a writer but something locks my talent. What is it? I’m positive person and I think I see the purpose of my earlier lessons. One reason for my tough life is that I need to feel and experience a lot to be a good writer. I also feel lonely. I miss something. Is there anything I could do to help myself? ~Neena, Finland
ANSWER: Are you aware how many people would do anything to be in your position of being able to write with a publisher who believes in them? What a cop out to say you don’t trust yourself, and to blame where you are right now on what has happened in the past. You are great with the excuses but claim to be a positive person. A positive being does not see herself as a failure.
Use that knowledge of positive thinking to bring success and self-confidence into your life. Start with the book. If you had enough to be accepted by a publisher, then you are the only thing keeping the book from being finished. You are afraid of success because you see yourself as the product of failure. Unconsciously you feel that if you succeed, you have been lying to yourself. So what?
You have bought into that ideology of druggie song writers that they have to suffer in order to be able to write soulful songs. They use that as an excuse for their ridiculous behavior. You do not have to have a tough life to be able to write. All the answers are in your heart, not your experiences.
You are correct that you don’t love yourself enough. People who love themselves would not allow their life to spin out of control as yours is doing. Stop and feel all the fear and doubt in your life. Go into each one of these problems and ask: Why it is there? Where did it come from? Realize that you don’t have to carry these problems around, because they interfere with your success.
As you rid yourself of unhelpful thoughts, fill the freed space with unconditional love brought in from the universe. Spend time each day “sunning” yourself in that love and accept that you are that love. Reject anything but love and you will come to love yourself.