Sexual satisfaction

QUESTION: Masters, why am I struggling to be sexually satisfied with my partner? Is it fear of HIV, incompatibility, past lives issues, appetite for adventures, unsuitability for monogamy, or what else? What would you advise me/us to do? ~Emanuele, UK

ANSWER:  First thing you need to do is stop thinking and analyzing everything and just feel what your body has to say. Release the expectations you have concerning the sex act and go with the flow. You think you need to have certain feelings or experiences, but the truth is that each person’s sensations and degree of satisfaction are based on his/her judgment of the union.

How do you get your information so that you may form an opinion? You depend on television, movies, novels, friends, and societal judgments. Does any of this impact the way you feel about the act? It shouldn’t, unless you feel you are part of a competition to do exactly what someone else has done.

You have many fears and doubts controlling your life. You default to the negative possibilities in all situations. You want someone to come in and tell you what to do. You do not think you are capable of taking responsibility for your life, having original ideas, and being able to “grade” your own experiences.

Whenever you give in to your fears – that is, accept that they are true – you are doomed to have a repeat of the situation you fear. You are a powerful soul, as all souls are, and you bring to your life that which you wish to experience. When you tell yourself you may be subject to HIV, unable to relax and enjoy, doomed by past-life problems, you are telling the universe you wish to have those things in your life.

In your wisdom and strength you create the world you desire. Visualize a place devoid of the things you fear and surrounded by unconditional love. See this as the place you have your relations, and the whole energy of your activity will be one of safe unconditional love. Enclose yourself in this cocoon of positivity and shut out all negative thoughts and possibilities.

You devalue your own worth. You are magnificent; accept it as true. You desire to have all the wonderful experiences in which you allow yourself to engage. Relax, stop putting pressure on yourself, and enjoy an intimate relationship with your partner. If both of you are completely into enjoying the situation, you won’t need anyone else.