Wishful thinking vs creating reality
QUESTION: Masters, What is the difference between wishful thinking and creating your own reality? I know from hindsight we create our reality. I’m pretty sure about my creativity in my marriage. I ‘m pretty clear about what my husband is creating – he is not. From therapy I’ve gotten handles on my beliefs. I feel like my spouse and I are getting along fine, making progress, then in therapy he states no. I see signs that we are creating a better marriage. Then he announces he wants to be alone that I’ve won. I wasn’t fighting; he insists that this is so. I understand these are his creations. I think most times I’ve created a better reality. So it would seem like I’ve been engaging in wishful thinking instead of doing what it takes to create a happy relationship. Last summer I had 3 lucid dreams where we made love. I thought this was a wonderful sign. But just the opposite, he stopped making love to me. How do I tell the difference between creating reality and wishful thinking? ~Margaret, USA
ANSWER: The main problem you are having with your creative process is that it does not always work for another person. You can create your own reality but others may not choose to live in that reality with you. Your husband is resisting your desire for happiness. He has some lessons to work out regarding control issues. He sees your desires to make things work out for the two of you to be your desire to control his life. Right now, if you say it is raining, he will say no it’s not.
Perception is another difficulty that exists between the two of you. To one person a nice sunny day will make the flowers grow, bring fresh air with the smell of spring, and make them feel delightful. To another person a sunny day is horrible because it causes the weeds to grow that have to be pulled, they will get sunburned and peel, and the air will bring pollen to make them sneeze. Same day – but totally different interpretations. You are both seeing things from different points of view.
The only wishful thinking you have engaged in was your lucid dreams. You needed something you were not getting from your husband. Unfortunately, he felt this as a threat since your dreams could provide something fantastic that he was unable to provide. Now, he does not want to let you have something for comparison that might not stand up to inspection. He needs to work out his own inner demons. You are a reminder to him that it is possible to be happy if you allow yourself. He doesn’t think he desires it at this time.