Shadows in the darkness

QUESTION: Masters, Could you please help me understand these FLASHBACKS I’ve been having about sexual abuse. I don’t recall the actual acts I remember a few conversations word for word and silly details of my surroundings with intense feelings of fear, confusion and humiliation. I have tried to seek help and failed so now I don’t even know if I believe myself despite facts undoubtedly pointing to abuse. I’m not scared of finding out what happened to me but what does terrify me is finding out what if anything happened to my brother who is 3 yrs younger. I have this awful feeling that something bad was happening to him and I knew and did nothing to stop it. I just wish I could remember more in order to get help for us. The charity I went to for help told me I would have to wait 3 months that was a year ago and still nothing so if they didn’t believe or understand me who will? ~Michelle, Scotland

ANSWER: Your flashbacks are actual memories from your earlier life. It is not that the agency did not believe you but that their schedule was full. You should go back to them if you wish to pursue this. When you did not continue your inquiry they thought you had given up and didn’t want assistance.

In addition to the abuse that occurred, this series of lessons is about taking responsibility. You have a sense that you should have assisted your little brother, but you were not in a position or old enough to do so. You have carried guilt for things you could not possibility have done.

It is time to release the guilt, forgive yourself, and see the fear as the indication of being in an unpleasant situation where you had no control. Your confusion and humiliation were aspects of the events and what the perpetrator threatened you would happen if you did not comply. Accusations were made about your brother being hurt if you were uncooperative.

You learned to partition off those happenings in your life and placed them into the darkness where they couldn’t be seen. Your subconscious knows it is time to clear up these fear lessons and feel better about yourself. Whenever you start to recall some of these situations, ask what you are feeling at that time. Go into the feeling.  Replace the negative, fear-based energy with positive love energy for having understood and accepted the lesson. Let that positive energy fill your whole being with self-love.

Your brother was more of a pawn used against you. Do not involve him in your journey unless he requests that.