Wishing to replace another
QUESTION: Masters, I have a girlfriend, who fell in love with me when I was struggling with my late woman who passed away because of cancer. This girlfriend didn’t tell me at the time of her feelings; they became true when my woman had passed away. We had plans to go on further together, but suddenly everything changed. What was the reason for her changed attitude towards me and do we have a soul mate relationship from earlier lives? How to handle this? I don’t know how to react when we are living in separate countries? Is there a possibility to get back together? I really want it. ~Esa, Sweden
ANSWER: Your girlfriend observed the care you had for your woman and was jealous that someone could dedicate so much of themselves to another who had such problems. She didn’t really know that much about you but created a myth about getting the same dedication from you toward her. Most of this was part of a dream world she created with just the two of you. She couldn’t tell you about her feelings because they mostly had her taking your woman’s place to have your undivided attention.
Once you were free and available there was no need for you to give such dedicated action to anyone. Once she saw that you would only provide a normal amount of time to a relationship she was disappointed. She doesn’t want a normal affair; she wants to be the center of your world—being given all your attention. Her idea of a relationship is being placed on a pedestal and worshipped without having to reciprocate. She is very secretive about her life.
She is not a soul mate of yours. You have never had any prior life experiences with her. She does not want to have a normal relationship because she does not want to have to give to anyone; she just wants to be on the receiving end. Any connection with her would be one-sided. She does not share.
This is a lesson for you: One, to learn that life must go on and that there are other women out there for you. And two, to be discerning of the women who would throw themselves at you. You don’t need to rebound from your woman into another coupling so soon. Right now you are desperately seeking someone to hold you and comfort you as you did so freely. Put the energy out to the universe to bring to you someone who wants a sharing relationship.