Being realistic

QUESTION: Masters, because I didn’t want to repeat mistakes of the past I have this ideal scenario where I would have a new job ready before I resign from my current job. My parents become angry and disappointed with me and my financial instability. However, I just got myself into the same situation again. This time, my divine guidance is that I’ve got to take responsibility for my own happiness. If I keep waiting for that ideal scenario to happen, I would then become a victim to my unhappiness. Did I interpret correctly? Now I feel like I am the facing my nightmare again. I have to face the old emotions like fear, unsettling, worries and self-doubt once again. I’m not sure if I have done the right thing. Do I have to consider practicality in this situation, e.g. my financial stability, my worries about securing a job due to age? ~Faith, Singapore

ANSWER: We agree you should take responsibility for your own happiness, but that does not mean being irresponsible about the results of what you think would make you happy. Are you happy right now after you quit your job? No! Responsibility also has to do with anticipating and accepting the results of the actions you take.

Your divine guidance told you to consider leaving the job to increase your happiness. It did not say leave now and don’t think of the consequences. You have done this in the past, so you well knew what would happen when you left with no plans to provide for your needs. You thought only of immediate gratification. You have to be more practical and consider your needs.

When the message came through that it was time to move on in order to increase your happiness, you should have remembered the problems of leaving unprepared, and started looking for something more appropriate. Leaving the way you did also does not look good to future employers. They do not know if they will be able to depend on you to be loyal to the company if you have a habit of just getting up and leaving, which can make it more difficult to get a new job.

If you had done some searching before you acted, there would be minimal fear, worries, and self-doubt. What you did was an example of running away instead of facing the situation and remedying the unhappiness you were feeling. Your ideal scenario was constructed with lessons you went through in the past. However, since you did the same thing again, you didn’t learn and therefore had to repeat them. They will continue to recur until you learn and may then move on to another lesson.