A lack of self-confidence
QUESTION: Masters, I am 61. There is a distressing pattern which keeps occurring in my life, despite all my efforts to put an end to it. It started when I was very young. I was always blamed by my parents for things I never did, or did with the right intention. I felt stifled and weak and helpless by their controlling and critical attitude towards me. Unfortunately this pattern has continued throughout my life with authorities and people in power and, again, I am never heard. It feels like a dream where I am shouting and calling and nobody hears. Please tell me what my life lessons are and how to break this painful pattern. ~Mona, UK
ANSWER: Your primary life lesson is discovering your own power and thereby controlling how you feel about your life. When you were a child, your parents told you what you should believe in and what was expected of you by them and society. You didn’t think it was fair but you nonetheless accepted these rules as your belief system. You have maintained these thoughts and have done nothing to exercise your freedom of choice in how your life will be run.
As a piece of Source—just the same as everyone else—you have the ability to create your own reality. You have the same power as others. You have the same ability to choose not to accept the opinions of others. You feel you are never heard because you don’t think you deserve to be heard. Because of your upbringing, you accept that people in authority have control over you, as you were instructed. They will continue to exert this control as long as you allow it. You are totally unaware that your allowing others to control you is coming from within yourself.
To change the way you react to other people—in other words, not allowing them to control you—you have to start standing up to them and take back your power. At the first instance of discomfort, stop and ask yourself what feelings you are getting from the situation. This will tell you what hidden belief system you are still allowing to dictate your behavior. Decide right then and there that you do not have to follow the old pattern. Then create what you want to happen. You have to believe in yourself.