Seeing what’s too close to you

QUESTION: Masters, I am in a relationship that has everything right about it yet everything so wrong. I feel like I have been stuck here for six years and it’s making me confused and depressed. To people on the outside, my partner and I seem like the perfect relationship, ‘best friends’which we are. Yet behind closed doors, we live in separate rooms and I often don’t want her touching me (even though she loves me very much). Am I in denial and simply not attracted to her? I’m scared to break up with her for fear that I am letting something wonderful go. I went through a very traumatic break-up 7 years ago with someone I thought was the love of my life. It was a very complicated love triangle that tore my heart out. I feel like she was my only one and that it was my fault that I lost her. Now I don’t know how to move forward anymore or let someone in. ~Kellie, UK

ANSWER: What we are hearing is that you have this old pair of shoes that are so comfortable you don’t want to throw them out. You also hate going shopping and being exposed to the crowds who might judge your choices. The problem is that all the support is gone out of the shoes, and whenever you wear them you cause your feet to lean in ways other than they were designed for, and your feet, ankles, and legs consequently hurt from stretched muscles and tendons. It is time to examine the whole picture.

You built a turtle-like shell around yourself 7 years ago when you were so hurt. The first time you allowed your head to come out of the shell fully you met your current girlfriend. She felt your hurt and has a need to take in injured and hurting animals, so you became her project. Her love for you is based upon your incredible need to be loved because you have no love for yourself. This need arises from your loss of sense of self due to your past relationships. Become independent and she will want to move on to another project.

You will not be able to work in other than a dependent relationship until you heal yourself. To do this you have to examine your fears. Go into them and feel why they are with you. Accept that you are a fantastic soul having an Earthly trial. You are as good as everyone else. You must decide what it is that you want and then, knowing you deserve it, bring it to you with your intention. You must be truthful with yourself.