Never experienced love

QUESTION: Masters, I have returned to my childhood village to live with my first love after 30 years. He is a good hardworking man and he offers me a home, a job and a safe place without games or manipulation. With him I remember my qualities and inner power and am regaining my self esteem. All seems perfect but what I suffer the most is that there is no connection between our hearts. He doesn´t look me in the eyes, hug or kiss. I do, and I can handle that, but when we make love I cannot find him. He´s not present,  he is somewhere else, an empty shell and I feel loneliness and despair. I don´t care about wealth like his, and can´t make him understand my need for tenderness, intimacy and heart connection. He says he loves me and is happier than ever. I love him and decided to work for this relationship but what can I do? Only love myself more? We are trying to get pregnant but my uncertainty of our love probably prevents us having a happy loving family that we both never have had. ~Jenni, Finland

ANSWER: Souls who have spent their current physical life in places where there is no human love do not know what is possible. If they can connect to their internal soul’s unconditional love, they strive to bring that feeling into their existence.

Your “love” does not know what love is. He has convinced himself that caring for someone and having a physical intimate relationship with them is love. Not only has he not experienced interpersonal intimacy, he has never even seen it except in movies. He loves you dearly in his own way, which is much the same as an owner loves a beloved pet.

It is possible that you can show him what he is missing—if he is willing to give you the time. Introduce him to films where a heartfelt connection is established between the characters. He spends so much time invested in securing wealth because he needs a goal. Turn that goal into a familial relationship with your future family.

Having a child before he is aware of the importance of a sharing, loving family would be unfair to the infant. You are correct that your feelings are interfering with conception. An alternative, for you, is to want the baby in order to have an unconditionally loving person in your life, accepting that you may be alone in this connection. It is possible that his observation of the joyous satisfaction you derive from a close contact with a child might trigger a feeling of physical closeness within him. But be prepared to have him remain as he is, with you having full responsibility for the child.