Archive for December 14th, 2010

Living in Hell

Tuesday, December 14th, 2010

QUESTION: Masters, I am living with a man who suffers from anxiety amongst other things, but he regularly causes arguments and belittles/insults me. His father died recently and I know I should be more patient but I am on the receiving end of such nastiness sometimes that it is hard to bear. He is in the middle of a full time university course so I don’t want to leave and upset him so that he fails another university course. Feel stuck between a rock and a hard place. ~Anne, UK

ANSWER: From the way you are allowing yourself to be treated, it is apparent that your man-friend is not the only one suffering from anxiety—take a look in the mirror. He is very indulgent, selfish, spoiled, and controlling. Are you enjoying your life? You are making the decision to remain in that untenable situation so as “not to upset him.” Well, dear, what about you and your needs?

A person can get away with being a bullying, demanding bore only if other people sit back and allow it to happen. The fact that his father has passed over does not give him the right to be nasty to you. The fact that he has failed in school before for lack of dedication to his studies should not obligate you to be his slave and put up with his atrocious behavior.

You can be as patient as you wish, but he is not going to change until he gets called on his discourtesies. He, and only he, is responsible for his life. By trying to act the victim, he excuses his mistreatment of you and thinks it is all right because you stick around and take it and never really say much about it. The rock is this inconsiderate individual and the hard place is your indecision to honor yourself.

You have complete freedom of choice to remain in this nightmare or to decide what other way you would like to spend the rest of your life. You are not responsible for anyone but yourself, particularly not for him and his actions. The choice is yours.

The dogma of karma

Tuesday, December 14th, 2010

QUESTION: Masters, in our culture, we have piles of documents that can prove the existence of karma. And the karma will influence the afterlife of any beings, who may be suffering in hell, be an animal, or give birth to the poor due to their badness. Beings may give birth to the rich, be angels or be out of Six Directions of Reincarnation due to their goodness. In your previous answers, you mentioned that when we are out of our body, we can experience the unconditional love no matter what we have done if only we want no more traveling on Earth. But in our documents, things will not be so simple: You have to pay off your bad karmas and do things well and then you can experience unconditional love. Why haven’t you mentioned the power of karma? Is that system only suited to Chinese culture country? ~Roger, Taiwan

ANSWER: “Karma” is a Sanskrit word, not a Chinese one, and is a precept in many world religions. Each controlling body, whether it be religious, political, or educational, has its own set of rules and regulations that the adherents take as the truth in all things, and they are recorded in multiple manners so people accept them. This creates the belief system accepted by people which tells them how to live their life.

One’s beliefs may change from time to time, as when one no longer needs something always believed as true. The world itself goes through these cycles. For centuries all men believed the world was flat and you would fall off the edge if you got too close, so no one sailed very far out into any body of water. Astronomers for several decades were persecuted for stating that your sun did not revolve around your Earth; now everyone knows your Earth revolves around your sun.

Christian religions believe in a God who hands out punishment for what people have done in life, resulting in their going to either Heaven or Hell. Buddhist, Hindu, Jain, and Sikh beliefs explain all of life with the concept of karma that you have mentioned. It is important with any belief system you adopt that you feel comfortable within it and understand the principles.

We do not espouse any Earth religion. Those systems work fine while souls are in physical form, but our experience is that the only place there can be judgment, and therefore the only place there is punishment, is on Earth. Once your soul leaves your human body it no longer is affected by negative energies. It enters into an unconditionally loving energy where everything is looked at as just an experience from which souls can learn.

A contract made me do it

Tuesday, December 14th, 2010

QUESTION: Masters, I have a twin brother whom I love so much.  Both of us had an abusive father and a difficult upbringing. I was always protecting him and felt I had to take care of him. We eventually graduated and moved out together. After a while I moved out [from him] because I got tired of being the mother. His life is a shambles now. He is separated and financially stressed. I feel an obligation to protect him and fix things for him; however he drives me crazy. I find him rude, childish, temperamental, and immature and we have nothing in common anymore.  I feel like I grew up and he never did. I want to cut all ties with him because I feel anxiety and frustration when I am around him; however I feel guilty because I should be more loving and have him more in my life because I am his twin and only family that lives near him and he does not have anyone else. What is our contract with each other and what is the right thing I should do? ~Lisa, Canada

ANSWER: You and your brother, while coming into existence at the same physical time, originated from two different unions of sperm and eggs. There is a closeness between you from dealing with your parental difficulties and experiencing life in the same time frame. But you made no contract that stated you would be responsible for him for the rest of his life.

Your brother dealt with the trauma in his life in a totally different way from how you did: he is still hiding from his. As long as he had someone to take care of him, protect him, and put up with his bad manners, he refused to face the reality of his situation and take responsibility for his life.

Your brother relies upon your sense of guilt. He will never learn to take care of himself and address his problems if he is always being bailed out of difficulties. You have freedom of choice to maintain your past mothering behavior, but you have no obligation to do so. Your contract with him was to get him to the point of being able to make his own choices and decisions. You have set a perfect example for him if he chooses to notice. It is time to live your own life with your only concern being yourself.